Jump to content
Junior

Your gay history

Recommended Posts

Hey there,

 

In this thread, we will be posting our gay history.

You will be doing it by answering a couple of questions listed below:

  • How did you discover your homosexuality? At what age did you do it?
  • How did you react to the fact that you are gay, by then?
  • How long did it take you to face the truth and accept yourself?
  • Have you come out of the closet already? If so, how did your social and work experience change? If not, how are you planning to do it and when?

  • Do your siblings and/or parents know it? If so, how did they react to it?
  • How did they find out? If you told them, how did you do it?
  • Do your closest friends know it? If so, did the friendship change in any way after knowing it?

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What would you say when you first see him? 

I wonder who's gonna blush first when you both meet. :$

 

Can we have a follow up story when you meet guys?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, 6 said:

What would you say when you first see him? 

I wonder who's gonna blush first when you both meet. :$

 

Can we have a follow up story when you meet guys?

I think about that all the time, and I have no clue how it's going to happen. I'm so excited though!

 

I'll post a follow-up story for sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Junior are you going to share? ;) 

 

3 hours ago, Daniel said:

I'm at an awkward stage where, if asked, I will admit to being gay, however I still have not told my family. As Brandon said, it's really really difficult to tell the people you care about the most and especially if you don't know how they are going to react. Even though I try to tell myself people won't care and nothing will change, I just can't bring myself to say the words.

I am in a relationship with someone who is very much in the closet. It's tough. It's exactly as you described it for him. He knows nothing will change but whenever he even thinks about saying the words, he gets very anxious. I hope one day society doesn't make people have to go through this horrific and liberating experience and being queer is normal. However, I doubt that will be anytime soon. Until then, these success stories are important. They show people that life is either the same or better for most once they come out of the closet. It helped me to watch YouTube/hear about others. It warmed me up and made me even consider the idea of acting on my feelings. 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just want to take a second and say I love you guys (wailing) I'm not gay but it's honestly moving reading your guys' story

I thought Daniel really was dating Rida oops

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's beautiful to see all your histories, it was very exciting. I have a lot of friends of the LGBT community, i'm always going to discos with them(i love LGBT discos - last weekend was the last time :$)

 

I'm always supporting them and fighting with people who have derogatory comments against LGBT people(included some members of my family).

 

All my love is with the LGBT community! ♥

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Kyle said:

I just want to take a second and say I love you guys (wailing) I haven't come out yet but it's honestly moving reading your guys' story

I thought Daniel really was dating Rida oops

 

  • No 3
  • Confused 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm somewhere on the gay spectrum, and it's quite clear I've been that way since I was around 13 or so. But let me tell you, like Brandon and a few others mentioned, the cognitive dissonance thing is real. When I was growing up, gay issues did not have mainstream support at all in the media -- at least in my country (US) and state. I also went to a small/weird school, and I don't think I actually knew an openly gay person in real life until I was around 16. So when you grow up with certain expectations about how attraction should work, and then suddenly you experience feelings which contradict that understanding, your brain has a funny way of ignoring those feelings. If someone had asked me what my orientation was around that time, I would have said that I was straight without batting an eye. Not because I was ashamed of being queer, but because I hadn't fully internalized that you could be something besides straight.

 

I think xat Kimi was also the first person I ever confided in some time in 2012 (shoutout to Kimi). It was a really casual conversation too, it hardly felt like a grand 'coming out' moment, but I just put my thoughts out there and that really helped me come to terms with them. I've basically been de facto out since I started university, though I still don't care to tell anyone unless they ask me first. 

 

Some things that still bother me...

 

Finding queer people who were interested in serious, monogamous relationships was not easy. Maybe it's just a university thing that people would prefer to sleep around, but it was pretty frustrating for me.

 

I also dislike identity politics around 'LGBT issues'. Maybe this is just me, but I feel like coming out is as much of a political statement as it is a personal one. I'm still mostly left-leaning, but I don't feel like being queer should ally me with any particular political cause.

 

 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How did you discover your homosexuality? At what age did you do it?
 
I discovered myself as bisexual when I was 12 years old, the reason why I can't tell you, because it's a little bit "aggressive".
 
How did you react to the fact that you are gay, by then?
 
My reaction was normal, because at that age, I knew what I was, but I couldn't understand it.
 
How long did it take you to face the truth and accept yourself?
 
When I turned 15, I already knew that I was bisexual. With that age I understood everything, and then I accepted myself as I am.
 
Do your siblings and/or parents know it? If so, how did they react to it? Have you come out of the closet already? If so, how did your social and work experience change? If not, how are you planning to do it and when?
 
Only three people know about I'm bisexual. These people are my best friends. At this moment, I don't dare to come out. Their reaction was well, they accepted me as I am. This is the movie that I go out with a smile everyday!
 
How did they find out? If you told them, how did you do it?
 
I told my friends what I was bisexual, when we promised to tell the truth to ourselves. In that moment, I was forced to tell the truth, because I don't like to lie. They accepted it.
 
Do your closest friends know it? If so, did the friendship change in any way after knowing it?
 
Yes, they know it. No haha, they didn't change.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How did you discover your homosexuality? At what age did you do it?

I'm not a lesbian, just bisexual I guess. Discovered that at my early 12 years when I lost my female best friend, I realised I didnt had only feelings as a friend, I wanted many stuff.

 

 

How did you react to the fact that you are gay, by then?

Neutral. It's not something that you can control or decide if you want to be so or no, it just happens and when you want to think about it, even if you try avoiding that thought, you just can't.

 

How long did it take you to face the truth and accept yourself?

Didn't have any problems accepting so, it's just normal

 

Have you come out of the closet already? If so, how did your social and work experience change? If not, how are you planning to do it and when?

No, I didn't. And I'm not planning to talk about it or make it public **in real life**, no, thanks.

 

Do your siblings and/or parents know it? If so, how did they react to it?

No one knows

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm kind of like one year late but, whatever. Here is my "gay history":

 

How did you discover your homosexuality? At what age did you do it?

I've always had feelings that I was gay or bisexual when I was like 7. When I was 5, I had a crush on one of my best friends that was the same gender as I am. I didn't know what being gay or bisexual was at the age of 5, obviously. I ignored it for a few years and I think I knew I could be possibly gay or bisexual when I was 7. In 6th grade (when I was 11), I grew another crush on a different best friend. I always felt like I needed to protect him and stuff. I still didn't know if I was gay or not so, I asked a girl out to a formal dance because I had thought I had feelings for her. The formal dance was boring, we danced to a few songs but I didn't feel anything for her. After that night, I didn't really interact with her as much. I never acted upon my crush on my best friend. At the age of 11, I knew I was gay and I didn't feel ashamed of it.

 

How did you react to the fact that you are gay, by then?

I didn't worry about being gay. I was not ashamed and did not think it was just a "phase" that most people think they're going through. I knew that my closest older sister who is 5 years older than me probably knew I was gay. She has never asked me about it though and when I do come out (because I haven't yet), she would be the first person I would go to. My sister is supportive of me and I really believe that she would accept me. I'm not so sure about what my parents will do. I'm hoping that they will be accepting and will not think of me any different. Honestly, I don't know how my current friends think of the LGBTQ+ community and being gay. They have never disagreed or have been against it, so that's a good sign.

How long did it take you to face the truth and accept yourself?

I knew it was possible that I could be gay or bisexual at the age of 7. I finally accepted myself at the age of 11. So it took me four years to accept myself.

 

Have you come out of the closet already? If so, how did your social and work experience change? If not, how are you planning to do it and when?

I have not come out of the closet yet.

 

Do your siblings and/or parents know it? If so, how did they react to it?

I believe that one of my siblings (my sister who is 5 years older) knows about me being possibly gay or bisexual. I have not been asked by any of my family members.

How did they find out? If you told them, how did you do it?

I'm gonna skip this question since I haven't come out yet.

Do your closest friends know about it? If so, did the friendship change in any way after knowing it?

My closest friends do not know about it. I think they just think that I like being single and I'm not attracted to that many people.

 

NOTE: I just wanna say that I loved all of your stories and they "touched me". It feels better knowing what people have gone through and how they went through it. Hopefully, I will come out soon and my family and friends will be accepting.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm unsure if this club and forum discussion post are still active as they were a couple of years ago, but I'd like to talk about my experience as coming to be a homosexual male.

I first found out that I was gay when I decided to date Kondra back in the early days of xat when I saw him wonder around a promoted chat that my friend Shers promoted. My experience with boys beforehand though has always been this awkward and curious state of mind that I've had when I was good friends with them and mostly spent those weekend nights out staying over at their houses. I was hesitant at first to message Kondra after I asked him in PC if he was gay, and to that he replied "yeah lol". I never really was romantic with all the people I've met online and in real life, so this was all new to me and it made me sit down and think, "What would it be like to date a guy?"

Ultimately, I decided to give him a chance and keep what we had a secret until I was comfortable enough to come out to my friends and family as gay.

When I was asked by other classmates if I had a girlfriend or found a girl to be in my liking, I never really like answering that question they asked me because I was never the child to lie about things to cover things up. Me, being the scared preteen I was, answered with "No, I don't have a girlfriend yet. But, I'm not really interested in having a relationship." and border lining which girls I thought were remotely attractive enough to date so I could get those same people off my back to avoid all further questions about my relationship with Kondra. This also happened to be the time in which I had my first gay experience with another guy who openly admitted to liking me and wanted to date me. To this day, I'm not even sure how he knew I was gay and wanted to openly admit his feelings to me in desperation that I would start dating him over the relationship I was already in. I never did accept his proposal and then one day, he just disappeared altogether.

After this rather peculiar experience, me and Kondra continued our relationship in secret until about 2 years of being together. I finally built enough confidence in myself to tell my family that I was gay and was dating a guy for 2 years straight now. With being scared of what my parents would say next, their response was rather calm and understanding with me coming out gay and was fine with me dating Kondra for the time I told them I've been with him. I let out a sigh of relief knowing that my family was accepting of me being gay and only wanted me to be happy with whoever I come out with in the end. But, with all good things must come the bad news. It came with fair warning that not everyone will be accepting as they are and will try to target me for simply liking the same sex that is my own. And they weren't wrong- because I live in a state that is full with churches and rather Southern. Not everyone is going to understand why I am gay.


And even with that, I couldn't understand how hard it is to keep a long distance relationship with him being the way we were as teenagers. I had to break it off to save myself from a world of pain that the future would hold, and it broke my heart.

I am now 18, going on 19 years old and I still have a lot to learn in this world. I know better now with what kind of relationships I want and I'm happy I took the time to look past the heartbreak to learn from my first relationship and grow as an individual. We both didn't know what we wanted and had a hard time understanding each other, and I didn't want to keep going on with something I'd regret deeply and feel guilty for because I couldn't be there with him.

I guess it's true that your first love won’t be the person you end up with, but I know much better with the experience I've had now that I can find the person I truly want to be with.

Edited by alex
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.